On Romance

It just happened.

After years of dreaming of what it might be like

How it might happen

It took things in its own hands

It just happened.

And I watched.

It swept me up and carried me away,

In a blink everything was new

The world had changed around me

As I watched.

It seeped into me.

It looked like nothing at all

And yet I wanted nothing else

I could see it in everything, feel nothing else

It was already within me.

Why are there any questions?

If it is, it is

When it wasn't, it still was, waiting

And now you say it can't be

Why ask at all?

And the interlude ended.

That's when Romance took over

Stayed with me, in me

I see it still, all around

A new interlude every day.

Memory is awake now.

It has sharper features, stronger feelings

Deeper colours, hazier edges

Messier recall and tidier highlights

Memory may yet take over.

Yet, that first moment, sharp as a knife

Cuts through questions,

Through doubts, even memories

There throbs the heart of all romance

In that moment, it lives.

Back!

And suddenly, one night, out of the nothingness of too much work, too much stress, too much everything (but too little food), rises a lazy memory of who you are. You want to part your hair down the middle and make two neat plaits, and the stress of looking good is suddenly beyond you. All you want in life is suddenly clear, because you can actually see it in front of your eyes. It's coming to you on its own, and the happiness you get out of doing what should have been a dry chore hints at there being something inherently perfect about this seemingly messed up life. And after months and years when you blocked out songs because of associations you hung on them, its a revelation when a certain kind of movie or song, just doesn't bother you anymore. A movie you last watched more than ten years ago keeps you up half the night, and gives you a headache the next day, but flicks the switch in your head or heart that opens a door to another place, somewhere you used to go before, but for some reason or the other, just forgot the way to. New people bring new experiences, but they also bring back everything you thought you had forgotten, and though it isn't clear to you how you ought to classify those memories now, it's nice to have them handy. It's nice to have you back.