Lets hear it for our very own... Guest Writer!!!
Ahem ahem so here I set out to help my friend who would rather do this herself but since I am very impatient and she is under a lot of pressure I am doing my bit to help her!
Sometimes you wish that people while pretending to themselves and almost believing that they are sensible would take a peek inside or rather step out of their skin and look at themselves through others’ lenses. It would be a fruitful exercise in introspection.
Having established that, I think now I can continue in a similar arbit manner.
One fine morning, you wake up and realize that for no logical reason you are really pissed off at someone. You rattle your brains but they refuse to help you out. Then you call up someone and try to tell them what you are feeling. In the process, the reason why you are feeling in a certain way comes out, but as you go on you realize that it’s a very silly reason! So you try to push it away, not realizing that all these pushed away thoughts are actually just accumulating somewhere in the corner of your already cluttered mind. Then one day, suddenly, just a trivial incident becomes the spark that ignites the huge bundle of that inflammable material! There is a big boom and you are raving mad at that someone! So after cooling down a bit, you decide that the easiest way is to go and talk it out to the ‘someone’ concerned.
But two things come in the way,
a) the person concerned is not an easy person to talk to, one who tends to adopt a very defensive attitude if you try to point out things to them saying, shrugging their shoulders,” oh well! I am like that, take me as I am or fuck off! I do not give a damn about what the world thinks!’;
b) the normal human tendency is to focus only on one point or incident in the whole narration and to pick on that and then come up with a logical explanation of why they behaved in a certain way, which makes perfect sense when seen in isolation. But the point is that, that little point is part of a larger picture which people refuse to see because, well, precisely because they are concentrating so hard on that minuscule, unimportant, silly little, trivial thingy! It is like the inability to see the forest for the trees.
Moving on, forget the whole issue of major misunderstanding in the process of explaining. There are actually larger things at work here. Which are a teeny-weenie bit difficult to express.
There comes a time when all the accumulated pissed off incidents (which by the way you most of the time do not even realize existed), crash through the door making it inevitable that, you sit up and take notice of them! Along with that comes the sudden ability to see things in perspective and become conscious of certain characteristics about some one whom you love a lot. Things like their cattiness, their carelessness and most importantly their selfishness, even in a situation where the other concerned party is you! What makes it worse is that they probably do not even know that they are behaving that-a-way! Trivial issues like money, which at some point of time you had sworn would never ever come between you and your friends, acquires almost gigantic proportions! You are forced to wonder in what capacity you exist for people. You are forced to re-think a lot of other things as well. You wonder whether the concerned someone even has an idea of what they are putting people through, nice people, who cannot say a ‘No’ to save their lives. Do they appreciate the effort that is being put in for them? Will they ever say a thank-you to you? Or even a sorry? Do they realize the value of time, money and energy? And suddenly you see that the answer to all these questions is NO! It is a big blow to you! But that is impossible, you think! Further, the questions that haunt you are, when will they come to terms with their responsibilities? As member of a family? As a friend? When will they realize that life is not always ‘take’, but involves ‘giving’ as well! Giving love, time, no matter how tired or pre-occupied one is! You wish there was some way you could reach out to them and tell them how a little action of gratitude, of appreciation, can make someone’s day! Of how little it involves in taking, but means a lot, to a lot of people when you do a small gesture of giving.
Sigh…it is tiring, all this thinking. But the reason why one might hesitate in approaching the topic to that someone is not tiredness but the fear of losing someone dear.
