The Tree

I first saw this tree almost two years ago, when I first came to JNU. It happens to be situated right outside my centre.. (CHS.. Centre for Historical Studies.. then, as now, I found the name somehow hilarious)

That year, it was beautiful. It had those lovely fringe-like leaves and splashy reddish-orange-ish flowers that Gulmohars do have. It was also the year of Helicopter.. the little doggie with the tail that whirred instead of wagging.

That winter, however, many things changed. When winter term began in January, the tree was bare, and even as fresh green leaves and buds appeared on the trees all around, this one remained dark and bare.

Of little Helicopter there was no sign. Instead, there were new puppies... Manto and Momma-dog had been busy, and the result were these three.. Sadat, Hassan, and dumbsicle(little problems creep up with nomenclature you see.. it was to be Sadat, Hassan and Manto, but Manto was the dad... then there was the fact that we also called them Dumbsicle and Pupsicle.. but again, had no third form of the same..)

A year later, and still no leaves. Still dark and stark and all of that, but not that wonderful verdant beauty. The happy family of doggies also had to face trying times.. Manto has relocated, while Momma-dog hangs out with her kids, and occasionally flirts with arbit new-dogs-on-the-block.

Today

It was such a strange day.

I woke up upset.. I dreamt that I was upset with someone I love a lot, you see. And though I managed to shoo away that feeling, somewhere, it still troubled me.

I got dressed, and then about thirty seconds before I had to leave, I decided to change into a plain white shirt instead of the bright, warm red one I had originally worn. I kept my red shoes, though.

I turned on the radio in the bus and by the time I reached college, I was quite happy, satisfied with the fact that there was good music early in the morning, and that the sun was shining so brightly.

I was happy also because of those red shoes, which are rather cute. So I messaged some of my friends to share that feeling. One of them, however, managed to upset me through the feeling I got from the reply.. the wording was innocuous, you see.

Anyhow, more music and thinking about the load of work that I simply Had to do that morning put that feeling away as well. Entering the library, I kept the headphones on, and got down to the days work. There was a lot of that, and before I knew it I was through with one whole book.. then another. By One o'clock, I was feeling marginally better about the whole work situation, though I know It will only get more stressful over the next two weeks.

The music only stopped when a friend came over to my Univ. and I was so happy to see her, I chucked my latest primary source* and we went out for lunch.

The next two hours or so, I enjoyed myself thoroughly, because that's what happens when you are with someone like her. We also had Ice-creams! :)

Then, on the way home we picked up sis-in-law-to-be, and all was still well, though the drive was unusually long, and when I got home I was tired.

I lost my temper just a little bit, once again, when I saw that the stuff on my desk had been messed with. Not much, though.

We went over and met nani and nanu, but halfway through that, I just got very tired and for want of a better word, disenchanted. At least, that is what I suppose it was, because I slammed the phone down for no real reason twice when my best friend called, and then out of courtesy waited for her to slam it on me the third time.

About twenty minutes after that, we left, and I tried to call her because I had a sudden urge to apologise. It's not as though having a fight with her is not good fun, it's just that suddenly, I didn't want to do that anymore.

Then mom and dad went off for a wedding, and I had dinner and all through, I couldn't get rid of that weird feeling. So here it is, i thought if I wrote it out, I'd feel better. Let's see.




*Abul Fazl's Ain-i-Akbari, for anyone who is interested in these finer details..

Variation, or a Similar Theme

Deep inside, there's something cold,
Something sharp and harsh
Deep inside, there's something warm,
Heated by hidden scorching fires
Each hiding the other,
Each hidden from the other
Pretending to have a purpose,
Pretending to have a right
To freeze or to burn
To hide away or erupt aloud..
All the while they play this game,
Nestled away still rules the Fear.


As the title says, this one is pretty much a variation of what I'd already posted, but in the absence of the time and energy to post something new and original and so forth, I decided to put this up anyway.

And oh, this was written during class one day last week, when I was unbelievably sleepy... That should explain the rather uninspired tone of the thing!! That day's notes are pretty funny actually.. there's a page of stuff the teacher was saying (hugely untidy scrawl) and then a cartoon of a kid flying a kite, followed by the poem, another half page of notes (I felt it wasn't right to ignore the teacher so completely!) and then sporadic breaks in that pious attempt at attentiveness as and when I had an interesting thought which, for once in a way I've noted down!!

Reaching Out... Reaching Nowhere

Getting soaked to the skin,
But so sere is the desert inside
No rain touches my parched throat
No words emerge
To speak, to shout, to let anyone know
If it burns me up, if I'm so hollow
Vibrating in tune to the falling hail -
Hard, so cold, and yet
Softer, warmer than the desert in me
Sparks in the sky, the ceaseless rumble
Can't light up the harsh darkness,
Can't drown out the empty noise
Can't hide with those dark clouds
My empty hand
Reaching out to the empty air
Reaching nowhere.

A-moo-sing events

Ok, I confess, its a bad pun up there in the title of the post... and yet, I was dying to write this post just so that I could treat everyone to the bad pun... public spirited, ain't I?

There are several technical problems one is faced with when writing. For one, there are these awful puns that tempt you All The Time!! If you manage to deal with them, there are issues of nomenclature, such as: what in the world are those things that I want to talk about called?? Cows?Bulls?Buffaloes?None of the above? Kind readers, you will, I hope, be itching to enlighten me on the point ... I eagerly await your comments!! :P

Ah, so where was I? Oh yes.. in the car, on my way back home! 'Part 1' happened while we'd parked outside this sidey shopping place near home which seems to be perpetually under construction, and is hence well supplied with lots and lots and lots of dirt. Picturesquely poised in the middle of the mud-pit was a happy looking cow/bull/buffalo. It looked as though mom would take some time, so I fished out the veggie burger I'd stashed in my bag, and merrily started chomping on it.

What happened next? A puppy.. jaunty little munchkin it was.. and of course I was seized with the desire to share my food with the prancing puplet. However, by the time I rolled the window down, it had jumped over a dirt-dune and disappeared. I sighed and continued chomping.

Idly surveying the sights, I happened to see a happy looking cow/bull/buffalo meandering my way. Now, as a rule, these guys(another bad pun!!!!!) ignore me and only deign to notice us when my brother is around(sigh). This one however, clearly had better 'taste' than most. (yeah, I'm going overboard with the bad puns now!!)

Next thing I knew ... it was drooling all over the window-pane even as I rolled the thing up! left nice streaks of dirt mixed with stuff-I'd-rather-not-speculate-about. And then it walked away. Yeah, it wasn't even a very long story.

Then there is 'part2' , which was even shorter! Again, in the car on the way home. It happened really fast, and I barely had time to take in that it actually happened! So, there was another of these c/b/b chewing dirt at the side of some road, and a dog poking around near one of its forelegs. Even as I noted this fact almost absentmindedly, the c/b/b lifted one of its hind legs and smartly kicked the dog on the backside!!!!!! Last thing I saw was the dog squeaking in protest and running away sideways.

So, thats all folks, except that I also had one of those flashes of insight while I was typing out the whole c/b/b bit... I know stuff for such a short time its not funny! I lose what I know inside my own head!!! I mean... when I was a kid, we had various varieties of these afore mentioned c/b/bs in practically every house on the street where we lived! And now, ten years after we left that-a-place, its vanished from the brain like it never was there!