07/03/08: I am feeling unsettled this morning. This is a strange way for me to feel right now, because my room is looking beautiful, the little plant on the desk is flourishing, and even the toys in the room look pleased with themselves.
08/03/08: (morning) I am feeling mildly irritated, which may have something to do with people.
(afternoon) I feel sick!!!!!!!
(evening) After basking in the warmth of mommy, I feel much restored, though still rather under the weather.
(later evening) On our way to mom's colleague's daughter's sangeet (the highlight of which was to be an item number by some of the teachers of the junior school; the rumors of daring clothes added some interest as well.. mom would only darkly hint at 'backless and topless' tailoring) the cab stalls on a lonely, deserted stretch of road. No streetlights. Five minutes later, we are on our way again, the driver having done some fiddling with wires.
(ten minutes later) Cab stalls once again, this time on a well lit, rather busy stretch of road. To be more precise, the driver brings it to a smooth halt at the side of the road and proceeds to tinker under the hood. He says "In-Jun sarak gaya hai ji'. We are twiddling our thumbs for over half an hour. Mom gets fed up and we tell the guy to drive us home pronto.
So much for car not working properly... we experience a smooth drive back home, which takes us about fifteen minutes.
(a couple of hours later) After dinner, in the process of doing something slightly silly which left me a little sadder and a little wiser, I filled another page of the sketchbook with a lot of crayon. I am now tired, so I will sleep over it, and assimilate the wisdom which I've been trying to understand in various forms the last few days.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The Story - I
"What makes a good mystery story?" she asked.
He raised an eyebrow. "Now, why would you want me to tell you that?"
"Stop being a pain, and just tell me!"
"Well, ok... some kind of a mysterious set of events leading up to an unexpected conclusion."
"Ah, now we are getting somewhere," she said, with satisfaction.
"Umm... that was a pretty basic and rather obvious observation, you know," he asked somewhat dubiously. It wasn't like her to be so easily pleased.
"Oh yes! I do know. But it'll do for now." She flashed him a half smile.
"For now??Oh, so there will be more of this presently, eh?
"Yeah, and next time you'll have to move up from that school-level answer to something rather more insightful."
"Ha! Will I? Maybe you will have something better to do before that happens! You really should do something productive with your life you know... Start taking concrete steps towards your goal... get yourself a goal..."
His sage advice was interrupted by a short laugh and a question. "What makes you think I am wasting my time? I happen to be engaged in a very important task - or I was, before you started trying to give me boring advice." She ignored his look of patent disbelief, and continued "I don't really ask too many completely pointless questions, you know!"
He couldn't help but laugh at her look of self satisfaction. "And what makes asking me silly questions qualify as an important task?"
"If the questions are so silly, you shouldn't answer them. But since you ask - I have decided that I shall write a book - a mystery story. Now you see why I asked you that particular question, don't you?"
"Since everything you say is about as clear as mud, I'm sure you will end up writing the mystery of the century! How does my answer in any way help you write? What you need is a good, sound plot, not sound bytes from me!"
She looked at him pityingly, though a discerning observer would have noted the slight heightening of colour...
"It isn't just the plot that makes a good mystery, you know. Don't under-estimate the power of good storytelling - the simplest of plots can become gripping..."
"If you say so," he interrupted. "But do you have any ideas for even a 'simple' plot?"
"What's eating you?" she asked slightly surprised. "That dame of yours had called, or what? Well, don't take it out on me! And as a matter of fact, I do have a good plot in mind, so stop doubting me!"
It was hard enough convincing herself that she could write something good enough to be published, without having people like Him questioning her as well! If he hadn't been her friend, she thought darkly, he really could be insufferable! Once her story was written, though, then he would have to admit that she really had done something worthwhile. Maybe he'd even shut up about that woman he kept talking about when she really didn't want to know!
His voice brought her back to earth. "Why do you always think it has to do with Her? Maybe I was just feeling hungry, and that was my stomach snapping at you! Anyway, tell me the plot that you've thought up."
"I changed my mind. I shall write it out and then you may read and admire as much as you like."
"Oh come on! You know I'm not the greatest reader on Earth! Just tell me... you'll get instant feedback!"
A wicked glint flickered in her eyes. "But you won't understand what my idea for the plot is - I don't explain very well - you always say so!"
"Oooooh so now we've come to that have we?? All right, I don't want to know. Don't tell me!"
"Fine! I won't"
She didn't know whether to laugh or be piqued with his response. There was silence for a few moments, then a new thought popped up and an animated discussion ensued... as always...
A single crack in the curtains let a narrow beam of sunlight into the room. It wavered somewhat weakly over the carpeted floor, like an uninvited guest, unsure of the welcome it would receive. There was a corresponding shudder which seemed to run through the room, at this unexpected presence of the long forgotten phenomenon of sunlight. The light caught on dancing particles of dust which seemed to pause when they realized they were in the glare. Slowly, an arm stretched out and then with one quick movement of the wrist, ended the drama...
That night, as she sat down to write out the idea for her story, she had to focus very hard, for as usual, her mind insisted on building fantastic scenes, imagining great lines that could be written, all without any anchoring-force to the story... It was almost as though they lived and had their own being, which refused to wait to be set in place within a larger narrative. When the small bits believe that they are big enough to Be the narrative, what really gets written has this strange thin feeling about it - as though it was being pulled apart even as it was written down.
After struggling for about twenty minutes, she sighed and decided to give up for the day. It just wasn't flowing out of her fingers, though it seemed to be buzzing around in her head, desperate to get out!
Sprawled in bed, she let her mind wander... it took the expected route, and soon she was rehashing everything they had discussed, everything he had said to her that day... She didn't even know when sleep swept her chaotic thoughts into bizarre dreams that kept her entertained all night long!
It was almost like the really bright flash of a camera, which blinded for a moment even as it revealed everything to the eye. Trying to control the slight trembling of the fingers, she looked at the mess revealed by the bright sunlight. How could this be?
Ummm...... To be continued!!!!!!
He raised an eyebrow. "Now, why would you want me to tell you that?"
"Stop being a pain, and just tell me!"
"Well, ok... some kind of a mysterious set of events leading up to an unexpected conclusion."
"Ah, now we are getting somewhere," she said, with satisfaction.
"Umm... that was a pretty basic and rather obvious observation, you know," he asked somewhat dubiously. It wasn't like her to be so easily pleased.
"Oh yes! I do know. But it'll do for now." She flashed him a half smile.
"For now??Oh, so there will be more of this presently, eh?
"Yeah, and next time you'll have to move up from that school-level answer to something rather more insightful."
"Ha! Will I? Maybe you will have something better to do before that happens! You really should do something productive with your life you know... Start taking concrete steps towards your goal... get yourself a goal..."
His sage advice was interrupted by a short laugh and a question. "What makes you think I am wasting my time? I happen to be engaged in a very important task - or I was, before you started trying to give me boring advice." She ignored his look of patent disbelief, and continued "I don't really ask too many completely pointless questions, you know!"
He couldn't help but laugh at her look of self satisfaction. "And what makes asking me silly questions qualify as an important task?"
"If the questions are so silly, you shouldn't answer them. But since you ask - I have decided that I shall write a book - a mystery story. Now you see why I asked you that particular question, don't you?"
"Since everything you say is about as clear as mud, I'm sure you will end up writing the mystery of the century! How does my answer in any way help you write? What you need is a good, sound plot, not sound bytes from me!"
She looked at him pityingly, though a discerning observer would have noted the slight heightening of colour...
"It isn't just the plot that makes a good mystery, you know. Don't under-estimate the power of good storytelling - the simplest of plots can become gripping..."
"If you say so," he interrupted. "But do you have any ideas for even a 'simple' plot?"
"What's eating you?" she asked slightly surprised. "That dame of yours had called, or what? Well, don't take it out on me! And as a matter of fact, I do have a good plot in mind, so stop doubting me!"
It was hard enough convincing herself that she could write something good enough to be published, without having people like Him questioning her as well! If he hadn't been her friend, she thought darkly, he really could be insufferable! Once her story was written, though, then he would have to admit that she really had done something worthwhile. Maybe he'd even shut up about that woman he kept talking about when she really didn't want to know!
His voice brought her back to earth. "Why do you always think it has to do with Her? Maybe I was just feeling hungry, and that was my stomach snapping at you! Anyway, tell me the plot that you've thought up."
"I changed my mind. I shall write it out and then you may read and admire as much as you like."
"Oh come on! You know I'm not the greatest reader on Earth! Just tell me... you'll get instant feedback!"
A wicked glint flickered in her eyes. "But you won't understand what my idea for the plot is - I don't explain very well - you always say so!"
"Oooooh so now we've come to that have we?? All right, I don't want to know. Don't tell me!"
"Fine! I won't"
She didn't know whether to laugh or be piqued with his response. There was silence for a few moments, then a new thought popped up and an animated discussion ensued... as always...
A single crack in the curtains let a narrow beam of sunlight into the room. It wavered somewhat weakly over the carpeted floor, like an uninvited guest, unsure of the welcome it would receive. There was a corresponding shudder which seemed to run through the room, at this unexpected presence of the long forgotten phenomenon of sunlight. The light caught on dancing particles of dust which seemed to pause when they realized they were in the glare. Slowly, an arm stretched out and then with one quick movement of the wrist, ended the drama...
That night, as she sat down to write out the idea for her story, she had to focus very hard, for as usual, her mind insisted on building fantastic scenes, imagining great lines that could be written, all without any anchoring-force to the story... It was almost as though they lived and had their own being, which refused to wait to be set in place within a larger narrative. When the small bits believe that they are big enough to Be the narrative, what really gets written has this strange thin feeling about it - as though it was being pulled apart even as it was written down.
After struggling for about twenty minutes, she sighed and decided to give up for the day. It just wasn't flowing out of her fingers, though it seemed to be buzzing around in her head, desperate to get out!
Sprawled in bed, she let her mind wander... it took the expected route, and soon she was rehashing everything they had discussed, everything he had said to her that day... She didn't even know when sleep swept her chaotic thoughts into bizarre dreams that kept her entertained all night long!
It was almost like the really bright flash of a camera, which blinded for a moment even as it revealed everything to the eye. Trying to control the slight trembling of the fingers, she looked at the mess revealed by the bright sunlight. How could this be?
Ummm...... To be continued!!!!!!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Today, I attended class after ages!!! The course was on World Theatre, and I learnt the following:
When something that essentially evokes emotion is to be understood, it helps to use parameters which go beyond the gross ones of the tangiable world.
Life can't be lived using an academic approach. You can try to understand it that way, though. Then, if you are good at that, you can be called a theorist.
And here are todays photographs...
At full stretch, as you can see...
And, ah, that expression!!!
That be all for the day, folks!
When something that essentially evokes emotion is to be understood, it helps to use parameters which go beyond the gross ones of the tangiable world.
Life can't be lived using an academic approach. You can try to understand it that way, though. Then, if you are good at that, you can be called a theorist.
And here are todays photographs...
At full stretch, as you can see...
And, ah, that expression!!!
That be all for the day, folks!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Ramblings-II
I need to find out the easiest and most effective way to build a dam, and it'd help if it turned out to be long lasting as well. Any suggestions, world?
Rambling
What is particularly demoralizing is that it takes so little, and of such little real consequence to cause so much havoc.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Falling In Love Again... :)
Recently, I saw this totally fun tag on Poo's blog, and decided that I wanted to do it too!! And the perfect opportunity presented itself this weekend, when I was sitting by myself in Dilli Haat enjoying a plate of momos and the kind attention of a rather friendly cat! Here's the mood...
It's pretty simple, all you have to do is put your ipod/ mp3 player on shuffle mode, and answer each question with whichever song plays next!
I found most of the answers hilarious and some just bizarre; Do feel free to comment(do I need to say this at all? :P)
1. If someone says 'Is this ok' you say....
Ek main aur ek tu.. dono mile is tarah.. aur jo tan man mein ho raha hai.. yeh to hona hi tha!!!
(khel khel mein) gosh, what must people be thinking! Blink-blink!
2. What would best define your personality...
Road trippin' (RHCP) hmmm.. interesting, this.. 'These lonely eyes are just a mirror for the sun', indeed!
3. What do you like in a guy/girl...
Spanish-guitar song from the Desperado soundtrack (Los Lobos) Ooer! it's all Spanish to me!!! oh, does that explain why I have no clue? :P
4. How do you feel today...
Makes me wonder (Maroon5) Wah, most of this seems unbelievably apt.. the day i did this tag, I was actually feeling all that... :-O
5. What is your life's purpose...
Summertime (Shaggy) hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. What is your motto in life...
Pour Some Sugar on me... (Def Leppard) Woah.. really? ;) In the name of love, indeed!
7. What do your friends think of you...
Always a Woman (Billy Joel) I Love this song!! What girl doesn't!!! Hehehehe... if this is what they think of me, I'm thrilled!
8. What do you think of your parents...
Baaghon mein bahaar hai.. (Aaradhana) Ooer..
9. What do you think of very often...
Inhi Logon ne..(Pakeezah) Lol.... the drama queen in me Will not be subdued!
10. What is 2+2...
Maaeri (Euphoria) In other words, mummyyyy!!!!!! I dont remember any maths!! help!!!
11. What do you think of your best friend...
Suerte (Shakira) Since the English of this is 'Whenever, Wherever', I think it's going to confirm a lot of suspicions people already had :P
12. What do you think of the person you like...
On the Radio (Nelly Furtado) Ahaa... that doesn't sound too promising :-O
13. What is your life story...
Behind Blue Eyes (Pearl Jam) No one knows what its like...? Oh yeah!!
14. What do you want to be when you grow up...
Vague Arabic Song That I Don't Even Know The Title Of. Haha!! My future is as clear to me as a foreign language?
15. What do your parents think of you...
Jaane Kyun (Dil Chahta Hai) Eh?
16. What song will you dance to at your wedding...
Singin' in the rain Ah, now this I'd dance to anywhere!
17. What song will be played at your funeral...
Cloud no. 9 (Bryan Adams) O Well...
18. What is your hobby...
Rivers of Babylon (Boney M) ???
19. What is your biggest secret...
Ajeeb Daastan hai yeh(I forget the movie's name) Hmmm... Don't even want to get into how that could be it!
20. What do you think of your friends...
Video Killed the Radio Star :-O
21. This should be posted as...
Fall in love (Cliff Richards) :) I love this song!!
There we are! My firstest tag! And I tag the regular suspects.. Sim, Sangee, Suk, and whoever happens to see this and wants to do it!
It's pretty simple, all you have to do is put your ipod/ mp3 player on shuffle mode, and answer each question with whichever song plays next!
I found most of the answers hilarious and some just bizarre; Do feel free to comment(do I need to say this at all? :P)
1. If someone says 'Is this ok' you say....
Ek main aur ek tu.. dono mile is tarah.. aur jo tan man mein ho raha hai.. yeh to hona hi tha!!!
(khel khel mein) gosh, what must people be thinking! Blink-blink!
2. What would best define your personality...
Road trippin' (RHCP) hmmm.. interesting, this.. 'These lonely eyes are just a mirror for the sun', indeed!
3. What do you like in a guy/girl...
Spanish-guitar song from the Desperado soundtrack (Los Lobos) Ooer! it's all Spanish to me!!! oh, does that explain why I have no clue? :P
4. How do you feel today...
Makes me wonder (Maroon5) Wah, most of this seems unbelievably apt.. the day i did this tag, I was actually feeling all that... :-O
5. What is your life's purpose...
Summertime (Shaggy) hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. What is your motto in life...
Pour Some Sugar on me... (Def Leppard) Woah.. really? ;) In the name of love, indeed!
7. What do your friends think of you...
Always a Woman (Billy Joel) I Love this song!! What girl doesn't!!! Hehehehe... if this is what they think of me, I'm thrilled!
8. What do you think of your parents...
Baaghon mein bahaar hai.. (Aaradhana) Ooer..
9. What do you think of very often...
Inhi Logon ne..(Pakeezah) Lol.... the drama queen in me Will not be subdued!
10. What is 2+2...
Maaeri (Euphoria) In other words, mummyyyy!!!!!! I dont remember any maths!! help!!!
11. What do you think of your best friend...
Suerte (Shakira) Since the English of this is 'Whenever, Wherever', I think it's going to confirm a lot of suspicions people already had :P
12. What do you think of the person you like...
On the Radio (Nelly Furtado) Ahaa... that doesn't sound too promising :-O
13. What is your life story...
Behind Blue Eyes (Pearl Jam) No one knows what its like...? Oh yeah!!
14. What do you want to be when you grow up...
Vague Arabic Song That I Don't Even Know The Title Of. Haha!! My future is as clear to me as a foreign language?
15. What do your parents think of you...
Jaane Kyun (Dil Chahta Hai) Eh?
16. What song will you dance to at your wedding...
Singin' in the rain Ah, now this I'd dance to anywhere!
17. What song will be played at your funeral...
Cloud no. 9 (Bryan Adams) O Well...
18. What is your hobby...
Rivers of Babylon (Boney M) ???
19. What is your biggest secret...
Ajeeb Daastan hai yeh(I forget the movie's name) Hmmm... Don't even want to get into how that could be it!
20. What do you think of your friends...
Video Killed the Radio Star :-O
21. This should be posted as...
Fall in love (Cliff Richards) :) I love this song!!
There we are! My firstest tag! And I tag the regular suspects.. Sim, Sangee, Suk, and whoever happens to see this and wants to do it!
Friday, January 4, 2008
For Sim!
This post comes as one of many little things that make up a Birthday Gift for Sim.
Every year, when the fifth of January approaches, I find my creativity automatically goes into some kind of supercharged mode. I suddenly look around and find all these nice things that’d make nice presents, and most surprisingly, I actually seem to have money for the same! Which is all very nice and convenient, you know, cause two of the best share the 5th as a Birthday!
This year was a little different, however. For one, I was broke like I have rarely been broke before. Not that it really affected the ultimate outcome, ‘cause the old routine of money-appearing-from-nowhere to pay for the presents-which-appeared-from-nowhere thing still happened. But you can imagine, I’m sure, how it affected the initial outlook of the shopper (me).
Besides, this year I really had not even the haziest notion about the kind of gift I was looking for... so I wandered unsure outside bookshops, places selling fascinating knick-knacks, sidey looking stalls at Dilli Haat… Plus the two birthday girls weren’t too helpful when it came to this. One wanted a book which the other one planned to give her so that left me at point-non-plus. The other one asked for ‘dher saara pyar’ which is what she gets anyway, so that didn’t help much either!
Ultimately, I figured out a series of gifts for Sangee (just wait till I get to Bombay!!), and Sim actually came up with a list of things I could give her! This list included things like another picture story, which shall appear here in the next five days (as soon as I get back to Delhi and my store of pictures!), and a post dedicated to Sim (all good things about her). Of course, there are many other things I’ve lined up as a surprise for this wonderful girl, but here goes…
We met in college, like so many people do. It was a great time for me, ‘cause I was having the time of my life discovering myself. School suddenly seemed like some dream, best forgotten, for reality was what I was living out in those three years. Apart from finally studying exactly what I really wanted to, I was surrounded by people I seemed to have known forever, and I’ll never forget those afternoons in the back lawns of college, when we talked about everything under the sun, and when we really should have been learning some French!
Despite our best efforts at bunking and the temporary teachers’ best efforts at boring us to death in third year, we passed!! And suddenly we weren’t together in MA. That was a bit of a stunner, really. But hey, voila! It turned out that proximity wasn’t all that our friendship was about, much to our relief.
In fact, everyday since we met, we’ve been redefining what our friendship is all about (excluding the long weeks and occasional months when we didn’t speak on account of some or the other fight). And at the end of it all, there is still no easy way to talk about you. I mean, I could go into those long-winded descriptions using clichés, but you know I can’t, right. You’re beyond the cliché. I honestly don’t know how else to put it! Why you need to be self deprecating is beyond me, of course.
Oh oh... this is turning out to be harder than I'd thought it'd be! Let's just say that you are the best, most perfect You, and leave it at that... And while this was supposed to be the 'Happy Birthday Sim' post, it clearly isn't quite that, so I'll stop trying to use words to describe her. Words aren't everything.
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!
Every year, when the fifth of January approaches, I find my creativity automatically goes into some kind of supercharged mode. I suddenly look around and find all these nice things that’d make nice presents, and most surprisingly, I actually seem to have money for the same! Which is all very nice and convenient, you know, cause two of the best share the 5th as a Birthday!
This year was a little different, however. For one, I was broke like I have rarely been broke before. Not that it really affected the ultimate outcome, ‘cause the old routine of money-appearing-from-nowhere to pay for the presents-which-appeared-from-nowhere thing still happened. But you can imagine, I’m sure, how it affected the initial outlook of the shopper (me).
Besides, this year I really had not even the haziest notion about the kind of gift I was looking for... so I wandered unsure outside bookshops, places selling fascinating knick-knacks, sidey looking stalls at Dilli Haat… Plus the two birthday girls weren’t too helpful when it came to this. One wanted a book which the other one planned to give her so that left me at point-non-plus. The other one asked for ‘dher saara pyar’ which is what she gets anyway, so that didn’t help much either!
Ultimately, I figured out a series of gifts for Sangee (just wait till I get to Bombay!!), and Sim actually came up with a list of things I could give her! This list included things like another picture story, which shall appear here in the next five days (as soon as I get back to Delhi and my store of pictures!), and a post dedicated to Sim (all good things about her). Of course, there are many other things I’ve lined up as a surprise for this wonderful girl, but here goes…
We met in college, like so many people do. It was a great time for me, ‘cause I was having the time of my life discovering myself. School suddenly seemed like some dream, best forgotten, for reality was what I was living out in those three years. Apart from finally studying exactly what I really wanted to, I was surrounded by people I seemed to have known forever, and I’ll never forget those afternoons in the back lawns of college, when we talked about everything under the sun, and when we really should have been learning some French!
Despite our best efforts at bunking and the temporary teachers’ best efforts at boring us to death in third year, we passed!! And suddenly we weren’t together in MA. That was a bit of a stunner, really. But hey, voila! It turned out that proximity wasn’t all that our friendship was about, much to our relief.
In fact, everyday since we met, we’ve been redefining what our friendship is all about (excluding the long weeks and occasional months when we didn’t speak on account of some or the other fight). And at the end of it all, there is still no easy way to talk about you. I mean, I could go into those long-winded descriptions using clichés, but you know I can’t, right. You’re beyond the cliché. I honestly don’t know how else to put it! Why you need to be self deprecating is beyond me, of course.
Oh oh... this is turning out to be harder than I'd thought it'd be! Let's just say that you are the best, most perfect You, and leave it at that... And while this was supposed to be the 'Happy Birthday Sim' post, it clearly isn't quite that, so I'll stop trying to use words to describe her. Words aren't everything.
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!
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